Well, I can only speak for myself of course, but I have never viewed RSD as being some kind of punishment nor have I ever seen it as being the end of my life either. No, quite the opposite. It was the beginning of many things. The beginning of a "new" me, a "new" life and a greater appreciation for life itself, the cherishing of all the little things most people don't take time to enjoy because they're so busy rushing about to notice anything at all.

Everyone handles the process of getting RSD and accepting it and their life now in different ways. Some have to go through a grieving process before coming to terms with it. Myself, the only thing I ever grieved over was the loss of my job which I loved more than anything and of course knowing that I will never work again.

I focused on learning to walk again and handling the rapid spread to all of my limbs, hips and shoulders. It's been just over 5 years now since the day it all started. 11 short months was all it took to put much of me in pain. Then again, what's a little pain when I am still breathing, able to feel joy, sadness, love, still able to hug my children and husband, look at them knowing how much they love me, pain and all. I feel immensely lucky to feel it all including the pain because there are fates much worse. Like being in a coma, being in a vegetative state, being, well no longer of the Earth. No life is much better this way than not at all.

I was 33 when it started, 38 now and even thinking of all the years I have left ahead of me, well, some days, especially the bad ones, I shrink away from the looming question "where will I be then?" No, there's no use in negative thoughts and I found that I don't need to think of it at all, except in terms of when my hubby and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary this year, the day my youngest child will graduate from middle school next year, the wedding of my oldest son this year, the birth of my first grandchild at some point in the next few years. Things that mark the milestones of life.

I surely hope I don't sound like some kind of freaky, happy go lucky, life is a bed of roses. I have my down times, especially when my pain is high. I generally don't wallow in the negative because there's really no point in it. I do allow myself one day every couple of months, sometimes once every month to just say woe is me, then well, life goes on. I can still do a lot of things to make myself happy, I can make others happy as well and I can still find pleasure in hobbies. I hope I haven't bored you to tears either, but life isn't over by any means, it's just changed a bit and the future is what you choose to make of it. See my signature for my own personal motto because it really is true.

Hugs,

Karen