I have MS and this is my first time posting on this forum recently (it came up that I was a newbie but did already have an account - so go figure...)

I usually post at another MS site and recognize some of your member names. I didn't post there as postings need to be specific it seems and this one just isn't.

I am depressed. I know - it is a sign of MS. I am on antidepressants. They work most of the time. When I get stressed though - forget it - the crying starts. Crying episodes are a lot fewer on the medicine - just wish the stress and crying could go away completely. But that's not life is it.

I will confess to all of you but lied to my neuro - I've been drinking several glasses of wine at night to deal with stress. My husband buys it by the box as it is cheaper that way. I have stopped doing that since a week or two ago the neuro told me my liver function tests were awful and cut my rebif in half and told me to stop drinking. I told her I drink several glasses a week - in truth it is per night sometimes lately. Just started that embarrassing habit this past year.

Haven't drank since the tests came out bad during yearly neuro appointment but now stressing and having suicidal thoughts - don't worry I have a young son and won't do that to him. Would you like to know what threw me into the latest stress episode? He is in a group - and he got awards and two others in his group didn't so one set of parents have been sending nasty e-mails and making nasty calls. Ridiculous huh? I knew one set was mad at me so expected their anger but didn't realize a second set was.

We had a meeting with a mediator so to speak tonight and after having two sets of parents screaming at me (there was another set of parents angry about my son's award also who had been holding in it)- I left the meeting crying and drove home crying. They are mad my son got the award and mad at me, my husband and my son. It is scouts and they didn't realize that scouts advance at their own level and don't have to wait for everyone in the group to get an award before one gets their advancement badge.

Right now I'm having a visual migraine - zigzag lines like lightning. At least that is what the neuro tells me they are. It is disrupting the entire left field of vision. Great now both eyes. Imitrex here I come.

Oh and I do have ms -diagnosed in 2003 after 2 years and 4 months of testing. On 1/2 strength Rebif presently - which is all my fault. The dose change that is. Probably the MS is too. If I handled my stress better I probablywouldn't have it huh?

Julie