Alan and I went to Beth Israel Hospital for his routine checkup and to get his feet cast for his custom made shoes.

Well, I had to go shopping, we had one hour to kill and I haven't been to 14th Street in NYC in over 40 years. Well, let me tell you, it was the experience of a lifetime.

I just went there to get my fruits for juicing and whatever else they had to offer. It's like a Costco but you don't buy in bulk unless you have to. You can buy one apple if needed.

So I take my blackberries and I go and look for the checkout. All I see is Lotto numbers on the ceiling and colored platforms.

I thought I had landed on Mars. I had absolutely no idea how to pay for anything. Alan was nowhere to be found (he was hunting around for little samples they were giving out and walking around on his shoe boot thing.

So I'm trying to find a checkout and I see various people on various lines. ABOUT 10 LINES. And no one is fidgeting and no one is complaining but I don't see anyone moving. I again look up in the air and it's like you are playing Lotto with flashing numbers like 23, 1, 3, 11, etc.

I said to myself "what the heck is going on?" A guy starts laughing and goes 'do you need help"? and I go "do I need help?? all I want to do is pay for my fruit and he says and I quote"

"You have to follow the colors" I said "I have to what??" and he laughs and says "you've never been to this store before, right?" and I said 'I've never been to this planet before" and he gets hysterical.

I then go 'what do you mean follow the colors?" and he says "look directly up in front of you".

I did and there were 5 panels of colors. Pink, red, orange, white, yellow. (I had no clue what the heck any of this meant.)

Then right in the middle of one of the colors I see the number 23 flashing. I still have no idea what is going on.

He says "watch what happens in the yellow color line"
(WHAT THE HECK IS A YELLOW COLOR LINE?))

I finally figured out that when you stand in a particular color, you watch the panel and when a number flashes, that means Register No. 3 or whatever number is flashing, well that's the register you go to!!

Well, I got on the orange line, and you should have seen me when it was my turn (there were 3 people on the orange line in front of me. I'm standing there and I'm watching the orange panel and all of a sudden the number 23 starts blinking.

I ALMOST YELLED "BINGO"!!!!

I ran to the register laughing my head off, and the girl starts laughing and she goes "how do you like our new system".? I said "am I on another planet, where are the clones?"

She got hysterical. Now I brought my own green bag (for no other reason than to hold my hat and my sunglasses"

The girl says 'oh you brought your own bag, how wonderful, because we don't supply bags, and we give you a fifteen cents credit for being green".

So I said 'hurray for green".

So now I take my bag and I can't find Alan. Some guy comes over and says what's the matter and I say "I lost my husband". He helped me find Alan.

I finally find him and bring him downstairs to all the gluten free stuff and we buy gluten free brownies.

So now we take the Gluten Free Brownie Mix and I tell Alan, we have to find a color. He says "we have to do WHAT??" I said 'just follow me". Alan had no idea. When the next register was open, we run over and there was the guy who helped me find Alan. He was hysterical and he said "see, I helped you find your husband, how do you like our store?" I said "are you kidding, the next time we have a doctor's appointment, I'm bringing my cold keepers, and I'm buying out the place", whereupon Alan bends over and whispers "no she's not".

We had a good laugh. I had never experienced such a shopping thing in my whole life. Colored panels etc.

It was like a Bingo Game. I LOVED IT!!!!

Just pick out your stuff, pick a color, the colored number flashes, you go to the register. See how fast I learn?? lol