"Of course we do. Thank you very much. We are, in fact, the very best looking people in the handicapped community. We have secret beauty pageants every year, to decide which of our number is the absolute best-looking. Billy Crystal emcees, as his character Fernando; "..and you look MAHVELOUS my dear; absolutely M-A-H-V-E-L-O-U-S..."

We are brave. We are fragile. We want to live, and we want to end it all. We look for support and we want to stand alone. We are Every person. We are the People with Multiple Sclerosis. We are People, Just Like You...."

I laughed at this first part -- wryly, it's true, because although it's funny, it's also true. And then tears came to my eyes as I read the second part.... And I flashed back to just this morning, when I was lying on the floor and weeping with rage, because I knew I had to call Lisa for help, and I wanted to get myself up, I didn't want to need that help, I wanted to do it myself. The WC was a foot away, but it might as well have been a hundred miles. And just lately, I've caught myself thinking: I don't want to die. But I'm not sure I want to live this way.

I hope my avatar came through. That's me in my former life, riding Magic Hero at a horse show at Ox Ridge, in Darien CT. That was in 1990, the year before I was dxed.

Chris