Hey. Im sorry you feel like crap about all of this

My english teacher gave me a really good statement (we had poetry assignment thing, one poem was on rsd and frustration and stuff). on the back, he wrote that he has walked down the same path im walking down but it gets easier. although it may seem to be a bad thing, it can turn out to be a good thing. something good may come out of it. although it is hard right now, try to see it as such.
at first i was like dude...yeah. ok. but i really started to think about that statement a lot. i came to realise that even though rsd sucks, there is a reason for everything. and that was the point i believe my teacher was trying to get across to me. we had a journal assignment thing like a month after the poems and the question was "if we could change just one thing in the world what would it be? what about to ourselves?" and everyone was like "war! hunger! save the chinchillas (lol)!" and teacher was like...ok. then i shared and said nothing because everything happens for a reason, even if the reason seems pointless right now. it could save our life someday. people in the class were like hu? but my teacher seemed really happy for me. he knew exactly what i was talking about and seemed happy that i absorbed his comment. some people were making dumb responses to my statement but he said it goes a little deeper than that. then he just nodded gently to me.

i hope this helps. i also keep a journal w/ some of my bffs. we write about anything in it and just pass it around. we also like compliment each other. reading what they write about me helps a ton. my teachers are really really good about it as well. two of them are like experts at telling when im having a really awful day. but im allowed to lay my head down and stuff. i got my seat moved to the couch in my history class so i get to lay down most of the time. they listen to me a lot as well.

hugs

nikki