yes i know this is a lot of this is easier said than done, but when you do prepare meals I use to always make extra and freeze extra servings at least two extra,my freezer would have approx 6 days of meals in it for the kids, so that the boys were always, fed all i would have to do was nuke it and serve and as time got on they could even nuke em themeselves. see if you have a local pantry too that can help with food and then maybe through the pantry, they could help direct you, i know how down you were last night, and am thankyou for the more upbeat notes I am reading today, but as you said we are not in your shoes and the decision is ultimatly yours and it when made will be finale. hang in there, i use to be pretty negative about the light at the end of the tunnel was always an on coming train, its not always an on coming train, sometimes it is light at the end of the tunnel, a bright and glorious light i put in as many hugs as the script would allow me too