It sounds like you have, at the very least, a dysfunctional family, and at best, a very unhealthy one.

It's amazing how always feeling sick and out of sorts (which obviously your mom, dad, grandma and quite possibly your sister too) can make some people ill-tempered and bitter. I get that way too, to be honest . . .

I don't know what kind of condition your sister is in, but it can be depressing to not be able to leave the house most days, while feeling like a non-gendered heap of pain, day after day, month after month. Trust me, even the most Polly-Anna of us breaks down at times (for hours, days, weeks, or even months), and some people are just perpetually grumpy and short-tempered.

You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family. All you can do is try to rise above it (like your sister tried to do with her kids), and get in with people who you like/like you back. This constant negative energy is really not good for you, and coming from the background that you did (neglect, potential maternal emotional abuse), you need to surround yourself with positive forces in your life.

It's sad when you come to realize that you really don't have any family to count on, but that seems to happen to a lot of us, especially those with chronic illnesses. You, however, are healthy, and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it on nasty, grumpy people . . . if you feel you've given this your best shot.

Also, remember only a few generations ago, most of our Grandparents and Great-Grandparents came settled in our countries from some far away place. Many of them NEVER saw their families again, let alone talked to them much on the phone. You are a man now (I'm assuming), and it's time for you to move on in your life.

Get counselling to help you cope with your losses, if possible. That would be my FIRST step, if I were you.

Good luck,

Cherie