I think you're right. We may not change the oaf (know it's not my job anyway), but we show our children to stand up for themselves and those weaker. My kids have never been bullied (as far as I know!) and aren't bullies themselves. At 16 they include "different" kids in their lives They look at us and do model behaviors they observe. They are not mean, but never play a victim's role either. they're good kids.