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Old 04-12-2008, 12:38 PM
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beautytransforming beautytransforming is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Gulf Coast, Mississippi
Posts: 194
15 yr Member
beautytransforming beautytransforming is offline
Member
beautytransforming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Gulf Coast, Mississippi
Posts: 194
15 yr Member
Default I hate labels. I feel like I have to live up to it, and I don't wanna.

I was diagnosed last Thursday. My intro is on the main board. I have 4 lesions on my brain, and have had 2 episodes in 8 years. When I look back at the last 8 years, I have a lot of AHA moments. I used to think I was just lazy, a bad housekeeper, and a bad wife... now I find out that I have fatigue from MS. It was as if I have been vindicated in some areas, and struck in others.

But, now, I wonder if every little thing is a sign... like I am hysterical about it. I started a 2nd job and worked more this week than I have in years. I am worn out and weak today. My arms, and my thighs (thighs were since last flare up in February). I am forgetting words a bit more, and am having trouble getting my numbers backwards...

Now, usually I ignore stuff like this. Rack it up to lazy, stupid, stress, being tired. Now, I don't know where to put it, and if it is OK to blame my MS. I don't want to blame it for everything, and just don't know how to tell. I feel like I am making a big deal out of nothing, and my DH is going to get upset with me for brining it up so much (he wouldn't, I have just learned to be very hard on myself for 8 years blaming myself for all these little things I feel).

Does it get better. Is there a day when it is not prevalent on my mind? I mean, really? I haven't even accepted it yet.

I have an LP on the 21rst. Then I will go get a second opinion from an MS specialist. I am traveling 2 hours to see him.

Looking forward to making myself at home here.

Last edited by beautytransforming; 04-12-2008 at 04:11 PM.
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