Well, it depends on where you live. As was previously suggested, once your son has been re-evaluated by some specialists, get him into a behavior therapy program as soon as possible. I work 1:1 with Autistic children at a Lovaas replication site and have seen first hand the difference it can make. Although you do need to act quickly, as many places have age restrictions on applicants. However, as your son is high functioning, they should accept him at 4 years old. But that will all depend on circumstances. Regardless, know that help IS available and there are on-going studies of therapy for children with Autism. You should be able to google some information on a resource-like center for developmental disorders in your area. I hope that helps!

PS: You mentioned that they wanted to push him through as long as he's potty trained. I'm not positive, but I believe that most behavior modification centers for Autistic children (ours and the other ones in my area at least) require that the children be in "normal" classrooms-no special day/special education classes. Our company will have a shadow in the classroom with them to help moniter their behavior; however, as the term "shadow" may imply, noone at the school but the student, the teacher, and the principal will know why the shadow is there without the permission of the parent(s) or the supervisor of the case in order to keep confidentiality and protect the student's privacy. Outside of school hours we work with the client on a 1:1 basis either at our center or in the client's home depending on location, availability, and ease for the client. Like I said, I don't know if all companies operate like ours; however, most should at least be similiar.