So, posting on another thread got me to thinking about a conversation I had with DH the other day. Of all the diseases for me to get, THIS would be the one.

The things I have always had a hard time with:

Poor planning, unplanned things.
Not being in control, having to rely on others.
Trust
Faith
Hope
MRIs

So, I get stuck with a disease where planning has now taken on a new meaning. I have to plan with conditions. There will come times where I can't follow through on plans. I feel like I will let others down. I have always been one you can count on.

Control... I dun did kiss that goodbye for the most part. I will control what I can when I can but realize I have to start giving some up sometimes.

I have to start relying on others to be there for me. I have to trust that they will be there. I am the caregiver, always have been. Heck, when I was in junior high, I was my friends therapist... They would call me all hours of the night if something was wrong. That is why I became a nurse. It scares me that when the time comes I may not be able to take care of my mom if needed. No one else in my family will.

Also, you can't rely on anything BUT hope and faith for this disease!! I mean, I am a Christian, but have still had trouble with hope and Faith, even though they are the biggest things in my "Faith," I have still always had trouble with them.

MRIs SUCK!!!! I am so claustrophobic. This last one, they gave me ativan for. I put on my big girl panties and was going to try it by myself, UNTIL they said I had to have the shield on my head... Oh heck no. I almost went into a panic attack right there, and I am not a panicky person. She told me to take the ativan THEN!! LOL

I guess we do have our paths mapped out for us. I guess bad things happen that enhance our learning experiences and, well, to some point our lives. We have to take the good with the bad, and use the bad as a growing experience.

When I am dun growing, will this be over?