You'd think that I'd be over the vanity and denial ten years into this miserable disease, but I'm hanging onto them for some stupid reason.

Anyone else can use whatever they need to get past the impairments of this disease, and I don't think a thing about it.

Try to get me to use something, though and it's like talking to a brick wall.

Although I did give in and use my wheelchair last month to go to a political rally. I even got to sit at the "rope line" and shake the featured speaker's hand. On that particular day, I knew that it was the only way I'd make it through the wait at the park for the festivities to begin and my husband insisted that it was the only way I would go!

One thing I've noticed is that many people are very unaware of the considerations needed by someone using a cane or wheelchair for mobility. I can't tell you how many times I've nearly had my cane kicked out from under me by people rushing her and there is a store or mall. If I could run, I'd chase them down, hit them with my cane like the little old ladies do in the movies, and give them a stern lecture about common courtesies such as being aware of the people around them. Then there's the wheelchair . . . I get so tired of seeing nothing but people's behinds when I'm in it! No doubt that these experiences factor in when I resist using aids that might make me look different in a crowd.

As for denial . . . it is a very comforting place to be until something like foot drop comes up and knocks you back into reality (or on your kiester!). I've accepted the big changes in my life, like the loss of the career that was my life-long dream, that it amazes me that I can't come to grips with the smaller ones!