Friend...I'm sorry you are in the midst of a pity party. Maybe it is an extension of the one I had a few days ago. Is it contagious?? I understand how you feel but just know that I think
Remember too, that it is not uncommon to have a bit of depression following surgery with anesthesia (anesthesia is a depressant after all!) Your body took a wallop--physically and psychologically. I am confident you will feel much better in the morning. It takes a bit of time for your mind and body to recover from a surgery.
Sleep well!