I hesitate to bring this up ... a complicated issue, easily misunderstood.

For backstory - click here

Reading that previous post, you'll understand that I'm well within the description for DBS surgery, but not suicidally desparate.

My quandry ...

(For the previous 3 years) I live on a generous amount of monthly money from Social Security Disability and a disability annuity from my former employer.

A nasty (and distasteful) Catch-22 arrises in my poor worried brain ... what level of effectiveness from my upcoming DBS surgery will cause me to feel that re-entry into the work force is the right thing for me to do?

Given the wide range of DBS outcome possibilities, (that will also vary over time) this is a difficult issue to come to grips with.

As an untrained laborer, (30 years on a factory floor) the chances of finding employment that would pay anything close to what I receive now are really zero.

Add to that my $520 monthly car loan payment that is being paid for me by a loan insurance company and that my wife will soon go from $450 clear a week to $100 ... and the picture darkens.

This all upsets my thinking and attitude towards the DBS ...

What if the DBS is a roaring success, initially? (and then turns ugly?)

What if the DBS leaves me "close, but no cigar" ... say a 60 - 80 % improvement?

I feel like I'm in a horrible situation of rooting against myself ... to maintain my comfortable financial status quo.

Please. If you choose to comment, consider carefully.

MikeTTF