What do you think he is doing to me? He invited me to lunch today and we sat over lunch and talked about my day yesterday. I told him how it makes me feel and what went on. He said it sounded normal to him and I said it doesn't to me and he said that maybe he is similar to me then because he has thought similar things in the past. We talked about how is two exes were like this and he "knows all about bipolar". I said I didn't think he did, but he says he's read all kinds of books and what could the book I had (The bipolar handbook) tell him that these hadn't. I felt hurt because I want to share how I am feeling which is very out-of-it at times and he held my hand. I asked why he aught to have to put up with this with me because although he's put up with it with his exes, they were his wives and I am not. I don't think he truely still grasps the idea that when I said I needed grounding by going to see him and that he's the only person in real life I tell these things to.... when I mentioned this to him he said "real life?" as if I have an alternate reality. Suppose I do, but I said "I meant people online". I told him I have days like last Friday when I try to fix my entire world in one day and think I can do it too! "Buy a house, get a job, hey Christopher can move in with me and intstant family ...." To me that is manic. But to him he said he thinks when you get fed up wiht your situation, you want to fix it all right now and that you'll try anything to get out of being "down". I still do not know if he truely understands, but I do think he cares. What is getting to me is kind of what I told him: Why should he act as if he's in this for the long haul with me when my husband barely could deal with it (though its not why we broke up; he asked), and frankly he is not. That's when I get embarassed around him because he is not my husband. He is my "friend". And yeah- that messes with my reality when I see him as much more than a friend, but he introduces me to others as "my friend, Jennie".