Peace of Mind: I really recognize a lot from your top post. I am also not altogether convinced of being bipolar but I must admit I have not yet studied it enough to see if/where i fit in. I have several disorders in my diagnosis.

“then I'll start having irrational, obsessive thoughts which I cannot shake.” At this point I have found a solution to prevent having to go the rest of the course: I start jogging, in a style aimed at improving staying power. If you like I can give you an exact description. I had at one point decided against ever medicating again and was in a really frightening situation where these thoughts were harming my health and unbearable in general. So I figured that, since I have trouble shedding waste chemicals from my body, and since this seemed to be an overdone fright and flight reaction, I could at least try to burn excess adrenaline. It worked a treat. I also drank more water because of the waste chemicals. Jogging makes you drink more anyway.

I also am now convinced that every episode of fearful thinking to this kind of obsessive levels actually does harm me. The brain is a very trainable thing and one can train certain words or smells or whatever to be connected with fear, grief, all sorts of unpleasant feelings, so more and more words or other things will become triggers to feel them after more episodes of this sort of thinking. That does constitute a loss of quality of life, to me. Whenever I spot one of the negative links I look for a way to see this is untrue and then I find a positive statement or action to counteract it that I repeat over and over until the harm is undone.

PS Two other ways to break an obsession I have found: Go to a sun-parlor and be locked in that incredibly hot tube for half an hour. Nicer but more expensive: go to one of those comprehensive sauna's, with dry heat, steam, cold pool, hot pool etc. for an afternoon. Make the round twice if you have to. Beats jogging as for enjoyment. Gets rid of waste chemicals just as well.