I'm having a helluva time collecting opinions. So far I've seen 3 spine surgeons in NY. One has kept to his position for a year now: surgery is elective; but if it was him, he'd do it. He has no idea what my future without surgery is. Second surgeon: Three opinions so far: 1st, agreed with surgeon #1, 2nd visit felt surgery was urgent, as a loose screw could break a pedicle, 3rd visit, denied he said that, essentially, and said surgery is elective. Surgeon #3: agrees, it's elective, but only in terms of when. Says eventually I will be in such pain it will be unavoidable. Return discussion with #1: He disagrees about the pedicle, he disagrees with surgeon #3.

All three want to do the highly invasive open back and then anterior procedures, a good 360. Only one has given me a good way of making the decision.

I feel I'm about to get labeled as doctor shopping. Unbeknownst to me, all these guys talk to each other. So, surgeon #1 emails me: Surgeon #3 just called to tell him he'll be operating on me. Surgeon #1 reminds me HE trained surgeon #3.

I just want two surgeons to tell me what to do and agree. Oh, I can add on theMayo clinic; they wanted to do the same procedure, but also said nothing about the consequences of not doing it. It's "elective".

That word "elective" is driving me nuts. The word driving me nuts next to "elective" is "lifestyle". This is a "lifestyle" decision, they say; only you can make it.

I'm on the schedule of #3 for June, but am still ambivalent. I just want to be told what to do in the old-fashioned paternalistic way.