I started to post this last night but never pushed the post button because I couldn’t. I met someone last summer when I was in the hospital. We became very close and I felt like we were becoming good friends. She had a hard life doing drugs and alcohol and her family offered her no support. Even though I was so busy during tax season I kept in contact and I would text message or call at the drop of a hat because I knew she wasn’t doing well and she was so lonely. She’s been in and out of the hospital numerous times since I was there and I went to visit her whenever she was there because she could never catch a break from life and went through one bad relationship after another.

She sent me a text message on Wednesday while I was at work and said she needed to talk and would I come over after my appointment. Naturally I said yes. But I got so hung up with “me” stuff, and worrying about getting Hooper out of doggie day care I totally forgot. I came home and was so emotionally drained from my tdoc appointment I took a long bath and actually slept four whole hours.

I was going to post in the AM before I went to work but when I woke up there was a message on my cell phone. It was from K’s mom. She never showed up the night before at her job as a bartender. Her mom couldn’t reach her on her cell so she decided to check her apartment and she found her. They’re waiting for the toxicology results but they think it was heroine. I knew she was hurting but I never thought she’d do this. But what hurts is her mom said to me “I knew she’d end up this way”.

I don’t even know how I feel right now. She wasn’t BP or anything, just severely depressed and tired of fighting. The viewing is tomorrow and the funeral is on Monday. I usually don’t go to these because they’re triggering but I have to, for her. I want her to know that even though her family didn’t care much, I did.

Alffe thanks for reaching out to me. I’m taking your advice and taking Hooper out to the park. It’s not sunny and it’s quite chilly but I need to think about things.