Oh Bp. So much to deal with. So many life's harsh dealings. Benton and now your friend. Someone posted to me that if they couldn't stop their husband's alcohol abuse, what made them think they could stop suicide. I am trying so hard to remember who that was, forgive me. I really feel your friend wanted to say good bye. Much like my husband's oldest brother called "to talk" with my husband before he did it and my husband was at the coast. No matter what you could have offered, she was destined to end her pain. Whether it be from her careless family lack of attitude or just knowing she could not pull out of her weakness. Doesn't matter, it is all too painful no matter what way we look at it. Reading your post makes me cry for my significant other. However I feel, I know he is in a beautiful place now and in no pain, much like your friend. He just doesn't understand the wake of grief he left behind, just like her.

I am so happy I found this site. Whenever I am down or even having a good day, I can come here and post away. Honey, don't wrack yourself with guilt. Whether you had contact or not that evening the inevitable would have still taken place. God, I just so wish I could take your pain away. Maybe I should be speaking for myself. God bless. We love you and are so glad you are here.

I kinda wish they'd make a rainbow bridge for our loved ones....................................