I too wonder about the chicken or the egg theory. I have never had any periods of depression though my life until I was DX with MS. Even going through a divorce, I was not depressed.(Must have been a good thing LOL). Even my first 10 yrs of MS, I continued to work as an RN, and was enjoying my work, my friends, and my family.

Then my disease progressed, and I had to leave work, and am now on SSDI. Depression has hit me hard lately, although I do take an AD. My doc has just incresed my dose. We'll see how that works. When I am in that black hole, I don't leave the house, turn down all invitations, and just vegatate in my PJs all day. I have lost interst in reading, and playing the piano, and just about everything.

I think my MS is responsible for my depression, and I don't want to live like this, so I am a fan of ADs. I'm hoping the increased dosage helps me. I see a psychiatrist on a regular basis, so I have someone to discuss my feelings and anxiety with. I don't like sharing with my family, because it just seems like I have one problem after another. I know depression is a chemical inbalance, but I just feel like I should be able to handle it better. I would like to be more involved with my grandsons than I am right now. I feel guilty!!

I fought ADs for quite awhile myself, but I have in the past seen a difference from them. I'm now hoping for another improvement.Have you tried several different ADs, to see if you can find one that might work? I do believe the illness comes first. Sounds like you have a strong inner spirit, keep up the good fight. I hope you find peace within, and thanks for sharing, and bringing up the ole "Chicken or Egg" theory.