BJ, I am so very sorry I wasn't able to be on to offer you my support before this. You are truly amazing, and I am so proud you were able to go. I have 6 brothers and sisters, 5 of us went, 2 couldn't. I am equally proud of all of them. Know what you need to do, square your shoulders and stand your ground. For each of us it is different.

I know at a service when a child or relative reads something it is about all I can do to stay in my seat. I just hate it, it is too raw. But when Dad took his life, I HAD to find a way to say goodbye, so I wrote him a letter. I still can't believe I was able to get through it, but I did. I know you going will bring you comfort later, you did what you truly felt you wanted and should do.

I also wanted to say, you were just the best friend to her. I lost a friend in highschool, he shot himself. I never returned his call either. I feel where you are coming from. But here is the thing, you were such a dear friend, had she wanted help, not only would she have called, she would have come knocking on your door. She knew you would be there for her, truly what better gift can you give as a friend?

I am soooooooooooooooooo happy you spoke to a different priest. Whew, I was getting a bit nervous I might have to visit your Father You are right, this does cause another wave in the ocean of pain, but thats what we are all here for right? To help the tide lesson so we can hang on for the ride.

Do you have your own place? or a special place you two would visit? Maybe you could plant a small tree, bush or plant in memory of your friendship.
Thinking of you Nikki