I am very sorry for you that your daughter is so violent. Very understandable that you are really afraid for her future. I have seen a whole lot of difference in a child that was clearly troubled but could not convey what the problem was. Years later, she could explain that a teacher was emotionally abusing her. She was by then able to defend herself, because this child was committed to an institution, just newly founded, that did nothing but OBSERVE her for six months. She was in a group of 8 children maximum. They had well-trained personnel, also physically. She had a wonderful time and returned home reborn, with the diagnosis that she was absolutely normal. BECAUSE THEY DID NOTHING. When a child really behaved in a way that was too disturbing or threatening to others it would be put in "the green room". There was absolutely nothing in there. After the child had calmed down for half an hour, it would be let out and no more was said about it. When they had to come in from the huge garden, they had to be caught. Personnel running after them, and carrying them indoors. They had to comply with certain rules but they were MADE to comply in a fun-loving way, that allowed kids to be kids. Some of them returned home much better, others had to go to another institution and stay there. Nobody ever talked with or at them about their behaviour. Nobody tried to correct anything, they just regulated by physically restraining. A lot of wholesome interaction between the kids did the rest.

Maybe this helps you in some way. You are clearly a person full of love. You and your little one's, also the unhappy one, deserve better than this.

PS This same child was, as a very young baby, suspected of having apnoe issues. The pediatrician concluded that this child was extremely strong willed and stubborn, therefore it cried at the top of her voice until it was litterally out of breath. Mom took note, forewarned is forearmed, and made sure she a) made sure to at exactly six months make it clear to her that she would go to sleep at 8 pm and not come out until 6 am. It worked after 3 nights. b) screened each instance of new behaviour for desirability in future, or in other circumstances, and made sure to nip anything undesirable in the bud by restraining. This worked very well. The girl is a wonderfull teen these days.