I tried to read it, honest I did but I felt emotional turmoil stirring when it talked about Happienss is a U shaped thing in our lives, meaning at the beginning and end it's at it's highest. I am not sure I agree with that since I am still pretty happy and have been for a few years, I was happy for some years in my twenties and happy in my late teen years.

I was out with mother today and we were talking about how it's harder getting older and I saw her feeling out of breath trying to stay caught up with us so I have to remind myself not to ask too much of her on these day trips out for lunch and light shopping. Today I had to get shoes for Jack and myself and it was kinda tiring for us all that we looked all over walmart and then Kmart.

It took forever to find what we were looking for but we found them at Kmart. So anyway, I forgot to buy coffee and toilet paper and I even had a list! I just forgot to look at it and was worried about Mother so I wanted to get done faster, anyway needless to say it's humbling seeing your Mom growing old. She's all I have left, I lost Daddy when I was 12 and he was 57 at that point so I never knew him when he wasn't tired and older.

Now I am going to be 40 this year and I think about it a lot, kinda feel sad to see things getting harder, though since I became stable on meds a few years ago things got a lot easier. But I know that can change, and what once worked can stop working. I don't know exactly what it is that makes me sad, is it getting older, I don't know. Is it the fact that I am halfway through life if I am lucky? I don't know. But I do know it's weighing more and more on my mind as this year progresses.

I had Jackie late in life, I was like 27 and gave birth at 28. I think that has a little to do with this, because he's growing up so fast, I mean WOW just yesterday it seems like he was in kindergarten and here he is ready to hit sixth grade! I still feel pretty even though I don't wear makeup too often, and I still have most of my teeth, and I sat here thinking about getting partials, I think that will work out better then implants would. And I am getting used to the idea of it.

So is it all that miserable to be in your 40's and 50's? I don't know. But the 20's and 30's were good to me. What's bothering you bizi? Let's talk about it here.