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Old 05-04-2008, 02:39 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Gulf Coast, Mississippi
Posts: 194
15 yr Member
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Quote:
Originally Posted by michael178 View Post
So much of the literature on chronic diseases deal with "fighting the disease."And I have no real idea what that phrase means, except that, to me, it is absolutely an absurd concept. What I try to do is the opposite. I try to accommodate my disease, to give in to it. When I am sick, I act sick, and then I try to treat my sickness, but to do that I need to give in to it, not fight it...just like an athlete who listens to his what his body is telling him, I have learned to listen to what my disease tells me, and rather than denying the message, I give in to it, accept it, and then I try to make the best of it, to smell what roses are left for me to smell.
I guess I look at things differently. I work with people that have the disease of addiction, which IS a disease, and not a lack of will-power or moral failing. I have to counsel these patients and tell them to fight this disease. I can't tall them to accommodate it, because accommodation to the disease of addiction would be to pop a pill to make them feel better, and continue to cycle of addiction. So to me, fighting means to do what is best for my body, but for ME to know what that is, and not allow things to dictate it. I guess, almost what you said

I look at fighting in the aspect of not allowing this to consume my time, my life, or my thoughts. I do not want, at the first feeling of fatigue, to rack it up to MS fatigue, and grab a pillow, when it could be that I ate to much sugar, or I am tired because I got 7 hours of sleep instead of my normal 10, or that I am emotionally drained because of having to counsel a patient. I need to fight the fatigue until I can figure out what the fatigue is. Then if I have to give in to it, I will find a way to do so.

I have never been one to act sick when I am sick. That is a weird concept to me, as much as fighting a disease is to you (concept, not ideal - I understand what you are saying, and not trying to be condescending with that remark). When I would have the flu, or a sickness, being a nurse, I would still have to show up most times. Even if it meant fighting my way through the day and wearing a mask so I don't make my patients sick. I didn't stay sick longer than any colleagues who did give into their sickness, but I was able to get more accomplished by not giving in.

So, I guess, by nature, I am a fighter. I don't know how that is going to affect his disease yet. I guess, when the disease progresses more, that I will have to give up some of the fight. I will learn to do that.

You are right in what I would tell another person who is sick, or has a disease like the one we suffer from. It is so easy to tell someone else to take it easy than to do so myself. I am afraid it will lead to a loss of things. I guess, ultimately, fear is what is making me fight so hard right now. I *AM* learning my lesson though. For instance, I paid for 3 days, for the decision to go out with my friend and have coffee after that fatigue hit, rather than to go home and sleep.

Thanks for your perspective. I need to see all sides to this and how others deal to start working out my own pattern of how I am going to accommodate this disease.
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Diagnosed with MS 4/3/2008
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Had onset attack in 4/2000
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Can stop blaming myself for symptoms now.
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