Bizi I probably won't be able to say anything. I've become so shy lately and lost my self-esteem. I just hope I don't break when I'm there.

I'm trying to do what she said and absorb some of what she said, especially about the disassociating. Gosh I never even heard of that word before. Yes Mari music is my passion but believe me, it's only certain songs that I download to my Ipod. I have a little OCD going on when it comes to music. All my songs are separated into folders depending on my mood. I do have some on there that remind me of my family but they're good times. They're all the old beach songs because it reminds me of all the good times my family and I had down the Jersey shore.

I used to play the drums when I was in high school and college, only way to meet the football players. After that I started playing keyboard, just on my own and I really enjoyed it.

I never mentioned this because I don't want people to feel sorry for me but I only have about 20% use of my left hand. I was in an auto accident and rolled my car 3 times. I must have grabbed onto the frame as it was rolling and my hand was crushed under the car. My car landed upside down and was smoking and all I wanted to do was get out of there. I never even knew I was hurt, never felt it, until I got out. Then I saw all the blood and the bone was sticking out of my hand. I must have fainted because I woke up in the ER. I went through 8 months of physical therapy and 3 operations to try to get more use out of it. But I've learned to get around it and get by. Other than that, the only other thing I did was mess up my knee which is an ongoing problem and I had glass in my eyes and a cut on my head that required 32 stitches. But the cop said I'm lucky to be alive because if the car hold rolled on the street instead of in the field, I wouldn't be here. So that was the end of my keyboard days. I still play it but it's so difficult with one hand. I still have nightmares of that accident and can hear the car crashing on it's roof and the tires blowing out.

I'm glad you liked my poem. I write what's inside, sometimes it's good and sometimes not. I was walking Hooper in the park and my mind started to wander. I started thinking about next Sunday being Mother's Day and how I wish things were different. But it's out of my hands.

I don't know what I'm going to do about my job. I know it's putting a lot of stress on me but I feel like I'm stuck. I just wish they would realize how much work I do and give me credit for it once in a while. That's all I'm asking for.

I hope you enjoyed your walk too Mari. I walked Hooper's little legs off and she came home ate and crashed. She's sleeping at my feet right now.