Hi BF! I am sorry that you have OCD. I have recovered from anxiety and I have learned so many helpful things about mental health. I'll bet your father's anger just always set you on edge. I think that people grow up anxious because they don't feel secure. Your dad's anger probably never allowed you to feel secure and everything just snowballed from there. I got better by focusing on the here and now and only going back in my past if it helped me understand how I was behaving and thinking today. It is all about self-understanding and problem solving and feeling secure. I think it helps to tell yourself that most of your feelings of insecurity are coming from your childhood and that these conditions don't exist today and that you can feel secure today. The feelings of insecurity are just a habit from the past when you were a child. Children don't think correctly because their brains are not capable yet and aren't fully developed. Our feelings form then when we didn't have the mental capacity to deal with these issues and we continue to carry them with us today until we confront and deal with them. This stuff can really be understood and worked out.

Dotty, I hope you are still around. Do you feel that you are a bit anxious and not feeling too secure?