Jerry,
You are in the boat with so many of us. The thing is that we each feel like we must be the only one that this injustice is being done to. Surely, the government can't do this to very many people and it has to be a mistake. I wish that were true. I have a hard time accepting the fact that things are so screwed up in our system.
Some people skate right through and have approval with the first attempt. Then there are those of us that, no matter what our Dr's say, are denied. It makes no sense. I am on a 6 year battle and my last attempt to be eligible to file for SSDI because of a judge that took too long and cancelled and rescheduled hearing,e tc. until my work credits ran out. If you do not have an attorney, I strongly suggest you get one soon. I tried on my own and dismissed one attorney and went to another with my final attempt to file.
Contact the person in your state that works for your Senator. There is a specific person that get involved in cases when you feel you were not handled fairly or properly. I went that route but for some reason, I am being tested to my limits. I do not qualify for SSI because my husband is employed. They look at income for SSI. They do not for regualr SSDI.
Gosh, I do not know what to say except to hang in there. I know what you mean about the pain and just wishing you wouldn't wake up. I am so sorry for your situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TNpain
Hi everyone,
I used to be a very active person. I loved the outdoors, camping, tennis, swimming, biking, dancing, etc. I was a family man with 2 kids that I loved to play with. But all that was soon to change.
In 1982 I was put on workers comp for an on the job back injury. The state doc said I was 45% disabled due to bad disks in L4 and L5. about a year later S1 went too. I was told I have degenerative disk disease. I was on workers comp for about 5 years, during which time my marriage fell apart. My wife couldn't understand my pain and even though she had been with me at the docs many times hearing them say I would probably never work again she seemed to blame me for our situation. The WC income was barely enough to get by and she had to get a job to help support the family. Every time she came home from work she made comments about how I "got to lay around all day while she worked" - like I wanted this life. We ended up divorced.
After laying around feeling sorry for myself I saw a commercial on TV for a computer repair school. I couldn't afford the school but it gave me an idea. I went to the library and managed to retrain myself because I felt so useless without a job. The government didn't pay for my training, I did it all on my own. I learned computer repair and networking. I went off workers comp and was very happy to have a job again. I felt like a man again.
I went on to start building my skills working on any computer I could get my hands on. I told everyone that I fixed computers and got them all to spread the word. very soon I was in business for myself and even taking classes to further my skills.
After doing this for a few years I was offered a great job working on computers. Even without formal training I had learned enough to impress the man that hired me. The first six months were great. I loved my job and loved my new life. I almost felt blessed that I had back problems and was given the chance to go back to work. A year later I was let go, my position was no longer needed at the company I worked for.
I went back to looking for a job but no one would hire me because I had been on workers comp before. No one would take the chance on having someone with a bad back working for them. I went back to working for myself and even though I didn't make as much money I was at least happy to have work and an income. I hired a neighbor to help me and taught him computer repair. I had him to do any lifting and basic repairs while I did repairs and sales. Once he learned enough he tried to steal the business out from under me. He stole my best clients leaving me with the crumbs. It wasn't enough to pay my bills any more. I tried to find new clients but by this time our local steel mills went under here in Ohio. Many of my clients were small business that did things for the mills and they went under shortly after the steel mills did. To make matters worse computer prices dropped so much that many people were just buying new ones instead of fixing the old ones.
I fought my way through paying my rent and my bills living as cheap as I could for about a year. The a new pain hit. I thought I had a tooth ache, I made an appointment to see the dentist but wasn't able to be seen for about a week. I couldn't wait so I saw my family doctor to get some relief from the pain until I could see the dentist. The doc said it wasn't my tooth, I had trigeminal neuralgia. He gave me pain pills and referred me to see a neurologist. Unfortunately I wasn't able to. I had no health insurance and didn't even have enough to pay the doctors visit. I had to borrow money from my dad to pay that off. Luckily the pain went away after about 5 days and didn't come back, at least not right away. I thought I was going to be ok.
I went back to trying to find a job but it was the same old story - workers comp in the past and no one would give me a chance. After a while I even tried not mentioning it on the applications but they would find it in background checks.
Then the next TN attack hit about 5 months later. Even worse than the first one. I went to the emergency room because the pain was so bad and I had no money to see my doctor. I didn't tell the ER doc about the TN diagnosis because I was wanting an unbiased opinion. The did an MRI after I explained the pain and the ER doc said he thought I had TN too. He also referred me to a neurologist, and I told him I didn't have insurance or money to see one.
Here we are years later and my TN attacks are about every 10 days. I applied for SSI and also to medicare or medicaid, can't recall which. I was turned down for both and told that TN was not enough to disable me. Even though I had numerous ER docs and my family doc saying I wasn't able to work until I got treatment. My family doc even said that he believes I need surgery. My back still goes out at random, from a sneeze, or just because it feels like it. I walk with a cane most days to steady myself and I'm afraid to even leave my house any more for fear of another TN attack. I can't shave, many days I can't even talk or eat. I can't brush my teeth or even let a breeze hit the side of my face. I've fallen into such a deep depression I can't even do basic things for myself.
I've prayed for death on many nights just to escape the pain. I want my life back the way it was and it seems the only way to get even close is to get medical help. Of course with no money and no insurance there is no doctors that will help me. Even the emergency room sends me home very soon after they see me. They give me another prescription for pain pills right after I tell them they don't help. They just send me home in pain and do nothing to help. I know if I had insurance they would have admitted me to control the pain, but since I can't pay them I am just sent home to suffer.
Tomorrow I will be seeing a social security attorney that says she can help me fight to get benefits. I don't want to be on benefits for the rest of my life, I just want medical help long enough to get me back on my feet so I can find a new job and pay my own way. I already know they won't give me enough to live a decent life and the only way for me to get my life back is to get healthy enough to work.
Any advice about fighting for my benefits would be greatly appreciated,
Jerry
AKA TNpain
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