Hi Wren,

I am here and trying to get a feel for the community here. It's been a very long day and I'm exhausted, but I am otherwise ok I suppose.

I guess I posted in this forum because I have some past associations with suicide (wanting to die and actually attempting - however weak an attempt it may have been). I'm looking for answers to find out what's the matter with me and how I got so messed up in the first place. I'm afraid that as I continue trying to rebuild my life, it's going to throw me into a deeper depression and it may conjure up some of the feelings that I used to have. The thought of that happening scares me to death. I was a mess back then - self injury, constant suicidal ideation. I don't want to head back down that path for my son's sake, so I'm trying to get a grip on things and understand myself before it happens.

Hopefully this wasn't too much info too soon. I certainly don't want to be obnoxious or overbearing right off the bat. It does feel good to get it out, though. I'm used to just keeping my feelings to myself.

Thank you for asking and I hope your day is going well.