Gosh, now I am going back into the OMG, is this really happening stage. I just wanna go home and crawl into bed, but I have a pt until 6 tonight and it is an hour drive home. Maybe my boss will let me go recline and have a good cry. I haven't cried yet. I don't know if it is even worth it. AAAARRRGH!!!! I was so hoping there would be some sort of huge mistake in all of this.

I am not the healthiest person right now. I am SUPPOSED to take a host of vitamins because of my gastric bypass.... I don't. I am SUPPOSED to exercise to have continued success with the weight loss and maintenance... I don't. I am anemic because I don't take my vitamins, I have a low protein profile because I have been neglecting my protein intake, and even though I have shed 150 pounds, I still have a terribly high cholesterol. I assumed losing weight would take care of that... but it hasn't, and I have not been diligent in getting it checked. I have a very high genetic factor, so I guess I will be going on cholesterol lowering drugs as well...

I just found all this out with the fax o my LP results, cause it had my 18 month check up on it. Fun stuff.

I have neglected myself badly. It feels good to get this out. Maybe now, I can look at this post and see how dumb I have been, and beat myself into submission. Good thing I am not my own nurse, or I'd be FIRED