((((((Mili)))))),
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Why the heck is he acting like such a little stink at school, and just being allowed to?
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G-d, that sounds so familiar
My son would swear under his breath at the principal or kick a hole in the door and they'd "say" that he had to do 5-days detention. He'd end up doing 1/2 day and that was it.
The only consistency came from me. My husband ALWAYS did the opposite of me. The school didn't follow-through.
There HAS TO BE consistency of treatment and the school HAS TO DO what they say they are going to do. It's too confusing to the kid otherwise.
I never saw the bad behavior at home. My husband (who was similar when he was a kid) said it was because HE KNEW that the school members would prevent him from hurting himself or others -- so he could blow out as far as he wanted and he would be prevented from totally exploding. Makes sense
My personal opinion of WHY this happened (and I suspect that something similar is going on with Vince) is that he/they present such a "personable/cute" side to the school (manipulative, in other words) that the school doesn't want to quote-hurt/punish him-unquote. It's just like you don't want to spank the cute puppy for pissing on the floor -- even though the cute puppy probably knows better.
You got your hands full, Mili -- I remember all that crap so well. You DO have to be consistent and INSIST that the school do what YOU want.
BIG HUGS (and love).
Barb