Hi I'm Jan and new to this forum. Hopefully I can get some answers, information, or just someone to talk to.

My parents are both deceased from other health reasons, but had both attempted suicide in the past. My older brother supposedly shot himself in the head I think in 1982. My younger sister shot herself in the head 2yrs ago.
Now I have no living relatives. I'm sure everone has gone through the "what ifs", "if I had only listened better", "why didn't I know the signs", "if I had only been there", and on & on. But of course no ones knows what went on in their loved one's last thought.

I talk to Doug & Cindy (brother & sister) often and cry each time I do. I don't guess the hurt & tears will ever end when they come up. One of my problems though is that I can't remember their dates of death, even my parent's. I always remember their birthdays but not even the exact year of each one's passing away. This is true even for my kitty cats. I know this is not normal, but can anyone suggest or know the reason.