Hello Roscoe

I can definitely empathize with your situation. All of us with food allergies, gluten intolerance, celiac disease, etc. have been there! Let me address each of your questions.

Firstly, did I explain what the extent of my intolerance meant to my relatives? Did I explain that although I could not eat things containing gluten, I still needed to eat of course, so I needed to have food that did not contain gluten. [B]Yes, you did all that, but rarely do people understand what gluten is and/or where it can 'hide'. People mean well, but they just don't understand the extent to which it appears in foods; they kind of understand that you can't eat bread, but then don't stop to think about a breaded coating on foods. Or, they'd never in a million years know intuitively that gluten could be in ketchup or used as an anti-caking ingredient in grated cheeses.

Secondly, was I expecting others to take responsibility for my food intolerance even though they may not understand what a food intolerance was and how harmful gluten can be to me?In my humble opinion, you cannot and should not ask others to take responsibility for your 'illness'. It is your issue to deal with, not theirs. Some close friends/family may take a personal interest in your plight and try to accommodate your needs, but you if you expect that, you will be disappointed. I plan ahead: call the host and ask what is being served. If they ask you for a recommendation of a food that would be ok for you, then suggest something easy. For example, if they're serving BBQ chicken, ask them to hold aside 1-2 pieces of chicken that has not been marinated or basted with the BBQ sauce. In addition, I always bring my own food with me wherever I go. People are not offended and if anything, it creates a curiosity and helps others better understand the foods that you CAN tolerate.

Thirdly, were they thinking I was just being overly fussy or rude for not eating the food they served up for me? It was not a special occasion for me as such, but they did invite me and they did know that I had a food intolerance. [B]They were probably totally confused as to why you didn't eat the foods being served. Again, the list of gluten containing foods is very large and if you don't have to abide by such a diet, there is no way to expect others to be aware of the offensive foods. If you frequently attend family gatherings with a consistent group of people, you may consider offering to provide the hosts with simple lists of gluten free foods. But, don't expect them to serve a completely gluten free meal for the whole group. BTW, if you would like such a list, let me know...I'd be happy to share mine with you.

Happy Eating
Bonnie