Well . . . sorry it was confirmed, and that you have to come out of denial.

I was first dx with probable MS in 1991, but after reading that there were no treatment options available, I promptly went into denial. They had done a LP, but I never asked the results and I refused a MRI. The writing was on the wall though . . . as I laid mostly paralyzed for 3 months.

When I would go see my doctor for anything, over the next several years, he was not allowed to mention the "M" word. I would tell him about the medical concern of the day/week/year, and he would test me for everything it might be. At the end of the testing, most times he would just have to say "everything is fine" . . . then off I'd go on my merry way again.

When I couldn't deny it any more, I still did. I proposed all sorts of potential dx to my doc, and he humored me by pointing out why it couldn't be "that". One day he had finally had enough though . . . and he said, "you have been to 4 specialists over the years, who have all agreed you have MS".

No more denial for me.

I knew all that time, just as you probably did deep down too. I appreciated the time I had to get used to the idea that it might be a disabling chronic illness, and I am glad the doctors let me live in denial in the meantime.

You obviously have very strong coping mechanisms, and you will get through this time of reckoning. A month or three is not going to make any difference at this point in the game . . . so take the time you need to come to grips with this before making any decisions.

Cherie