Thanks for replying, guys. I can see a lot of truth and logic in both of your observations. Bluenurse, I've tried four different ADs, and while other people have told me that they made me seem more normal, they make me feel less normal inside. I have bad dreams and sometimes bad thoughts. Right now I'm taking two ADs simultaneously. One for nerve pain, and one to keep weight on. But I think I'm going to quit taking at least one of them.

Sannah, you made a very good point about processing our feelings. I was raised in the mountains, and as a child I was always taught that children were there to be helpers, not to talk or interrupt adults. I can remember daydreaming a lot about how it would be when I was finally old enough to count as a person.

But let me ask everyone another question. All illness aside, how many of you think that your depression is mainly caused by loneliness. It's no secret that people with chronic illnesses often find themselves alone, and many lack the confidence to believe that anyone could ever love them the way they are now. I'll be the first to admit that this affects me a lot. Does it affect anyone else? And if so, what if anything do you do to try and fix it?