So I am seeing my primary doc. tomorrow both about the wanting to fly off the balcony thing and the appointment yesterday at the psych. office. I'm so exhausted right now. This thing with the psych. office, feeling like the world is not in my control (visual, audio, and smell hallucinations), wandering around town for six hours aimlessly, and this thing with Christopher since last night- where he said he is still hoping to get his ex. back - right after I told him I'm not comfortable with his calling me his "friend" when we are so much more to everybody in the world EXCEPT him- telling me he loves me and yet I cannot wait around for years while he waits to see if his ex actually moves to Texas.... I'm literally exhausted like its 12 a.m. and I'm ready for bed. But its not. And I should go to church choir tonight to emote and to get a tux for my ex- a favor he asked of me.