I have had a rotten day; tearful, crying, sobbing at times for no apparent reason. I just couldn't get a grip this morning. I was thinking about all the people who say I am so strong, well you could have blown me over with a feather most of the day.

Someone mentioned on here about a gravesite. You know, there is not one gravesite, memorial or anything solid where I can go to bring flowers, sit and talk, cry, laugh, or whatever with any of my lost family members. The more I think about it the more unnerving it seems. I'm not sure where my dad is buried; he remarried and moved several states away. Then with my brother's tragic end, his wife buried him in an old junk yard not even accessable by road. It was her grandparent's property, no one said she couldn't do it so she did. Our side of the family had no say-so in the matter. My mom wanted to be creamated and travel around with me. She now rests between my two other kitties' cremations high on a shelf in my living room. I do talk, share past stories, laugh, cry with her anytime I want to. Then comes my sister's untimely death. She had said in the past that she wanted her body to be donated to science so she never left the hospital.

Now I am the only one left. I just feel like something is missing in this equation. This situation has crossed my mind many times in the past but usually only one family member at a time. I guess today I have been just a little bit overwhelmed.

I need a hug!