Hi Catluver,

I regret to say that I haven't had a chance to read the rest of the posts, so I apologize if what I'm saying has already been said.

Have you considered that perhaps your mind is unknowingly blocking those dates because you are remembering a date that is filled with good memories (the birthdates) rather than tragedy (the death dates)?

Also, as far as a gravesite is concerned, why not find a place that you feel comfortable at that will allow you to remember your family with good memories (perhaps a quiet lake, a solitary tree, somewhere you can be alone with your thoughts to remember them)? There is no rule written in stone that you have to memorialize loved ones at a gravesite. Make your own place to remember them. This way, not only is it peaceful and quiet, it's also a place that you feel comfortable at. Like I said, there are no rules concerning death and how one is supposed to remember those who have passed.

My best wishes are with you. I do hope you are able to get through this difficult time.