Mari

I can totally relate from both sides of this.

One I've been married to my husband for over 25 years. My MIL disowned, him, wouldn't talk to me, and much more when we first got married. Just
because he married me.

But he loved her, and he wanted to be part of the family, I didn't let him give up on that part of his family. And I never stayed home when he went to see her and his dad. Then when we moved even closer, I did even more visiting
because he did. By then it was a few more years, the only real change at first was she had slipped and acknowledged me as a person. So I had a name, and was a person. My kids were still only his. Till a few years later,
when she started siding with me in the fights about them.

And know she lives next door, and I too do things for her. But never will I be
her favorite daughter in law. I used to think I'd never even be reckonized as
one. But I've received a card or two with the title. And I am noted as such
to strangers, but she still at times thinks more highly of a ex daughter in law, of my BIL's first wife than me. But mainly because she was a farmers wife,
and that is so close to the same as my mother in law.

Know my one like daughter in law, doesn't warm up to me. Doesn't really like
me. Its not mutual, I think very highly of her because she has made my son that was the hardest to raise happy. And has made a good mother for my
grandson. But I can't get her to do things with me. And I know that more
than anything she is a loner. But she goes to spend time with my MIL as
a companion once a week. When she wants too, but I'm not allowed to
anymore. So it means that she and my MIL get some kind of connection
I don't have. But that is okay. They are having a bond and I am happy.

She will let me know if she needs my help and she knows that I am here.
She is my husband's favorite and he is her favorite. So I will live with
that.

My other daughter in law like, is some one I relate to a lot. And she
is one my husband is having a hard time understanding. But he is finally
trying. So it takes time sometimes. And patience. But I can tell anyone
sometimes it takes years.

And sometimes it never seems like its going to happen.

Donna