I'm so sorry, ((((((Lori)))))).



I wish this wasn't happening to you (and to your family).

It's perfectly normal to feel "numb" -- your mind does that for you. When you are going through something that is just too mentally and physically overwhelming for you to feel all at once, your mind gives you the gift of temporary numbness. I felt that when my Brother committed suicide.

Honey, usually people that are dying and that have adjusted to that fact, start letting go and detaching from this life.

It sounds to me like you might have told your Dad it was OK to go (but, in your heart, you weren't really ready). That's OK. That might have been why he was holding on. I was doing the same thing when my Mom was getting ready to take her next steps. I DID get to the point where I was ready for her to go.

Lori, you're too overwhelmed to understand this now. But, you will come to understand it. You gave your Dad the kind of treatment that he deserved. You shared with him his dying moments -- that's the most intimate moment that you can share with anyone. He was NOT ALONE when he died -- you gave him an incredible gift. All of this will comfort your soul as move forward.

The best thing that you and your Mom can do for each other over this next difficult period is take care of each other. Let all the crap -- like housework -- go for now. Prepare simple meals -- soup and sandwiches. Spend time talking about the good memories of your Dad and your Cousin.

Maybe get two blank books and start a family tradition now that you'll add to on holidays and birthdays and other special days. Future members of your family are not going to have the blessings of your Dad and your Cousin in their lives. In those blank books, have everyone -- friends, family, co-workers -- write down what they remember about your Dad and your Cousin. What special gifts did they bring to your life?? What was the funniest thing they ever did?? What was the most loving thing?? This will be a beautiful tradition for your family and it will also bring the memories of two wonderful people forward to your future family members.

Pay attention over the next few days. Some small living being will visit you and will behave very differently. This will be your Dad and your Cousin letting you know that they have arrived safely. Read this if you want to find out more about after-death communication:
http://butterflywebsite.com/discover...ndrainbows.cfm

I'll say a prayer for your Dad and for your Cousin tonight before I go to bed. For you and for your Mom, too. Bless you all. Hold each other tight.

Barb