Natalie8,

It sounds like you are processing everything and trying to reason about what was and what is. I think we all do that. I think it is part of the process we all go through when we have something terrible happening in our lives.

A local support group is good because you will meet folks who have been where you are and survived it.

This space is good because you will get some great advice from people experienced with your medicine.

One day is filled with so many adjustments for you. I hope the "C' works for you.

At least you have a few people with you, who can help with everyday chores when you are not up to it. Learn to ask for help and don't be a hero. Stress makes this disease worse.

Find some ways to be good to yourself. For me that is soaking my feet in a foot solution and giving myself a little pedicure.