Hi Amber! Welcome to NeuroTalk!

After reading your post, it's plain to see why you are having such a difficult time. Your little "angel is heaven" is beautiful, as is the rest of your good-looking family.

My suggestion is to visit the "Wonder" threads in the suicide forum. I realize that doesn't sound like it would apply to your situation, but you'll find some really fine and gentle people there. It is a very soothing place to "hang out."

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread45537.html
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread45314.html
http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread45177.html

Hugs to you!