OUCH ON THE COUCH-TINA-
Why do you always grow so big and mean?
When the weather changes to a winter scene
And when the rain comes dripping down
You multiply and without a sound.
The breezes and wind must feed you well
In them your dancing wildly feels like hell.
So now you got me in your grip
With electrical claws you tear and rip
And fill my face with fire waves.
How do you decide who becomes your slaves?
My jaw it dances pogo to painful beat
And my normal-ness sits back seat.
And all the while no one can see
The T.N. monster torturing me.
You’ve taken half my smile away
A half a smile is how ill stay
Funny all this and you still
Have not over taken my will
One time soon you shall see
Ill force you to leave me be.
Then ill pass the answers along
Ways to keep you where you belong.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = == =
LOSE FACE -TINA-
That nerve is severed for good,
like a twig breaking meekly underfoot.
Pain the wave tearing rips,
Electrical lightening whips.
All day that blanket snapped and swelled.
You had to speak as if your lips
would do anything to leave your face.
If speaking was at all possible…
Your lips would beg just that!
Instead nerves sparked and twitched
in a Static wave of crossed signals
That turned viciously ferocious
By the simplest things many
Hold for granted!
All day that blanket snapped and swelled,
You had to speak as if your lips
would do anything to leave your face.
===============================

DOCS- TINA-
Waiting in trepidation
which docs will I see?
Four are waiting,
but just two for me.
Will they be noble and kind?
Will they have compassion and smarts?
Be well trained, patient and gentle?
Will they put me back on heavy meds?
Or Rx. Me something new
Will they take away the only
Relief I ever knew?
Will they get a hold of me
poke my at face, tweak with my mouth
put me back in a cage that I have to get out?
Will they help my tremoring jaw?
Gosh I can’t wait just hem and haw!
I hope they power up a battery,
And set me off sweet and free!
I really do not want to go
I hope they …I hope they know

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = -

ELETRIC NIGHTMARE -TINA
Powerful, profound
Hidden from view
Anesthesia dolorosa
Neuro stimulator
Trigeminal neuralgia, to cope, accept, deal
Out of options for now
My face, mouth, my teeth, my lip

Present always, part of me
A horrible monster to tame
Inside, in charge, IS REAL
Not understood, nerve snapped, not giving in.

===================================

INSIDEOUT-Tina -
Pain is hard to express,
When invisible to all the rest.
Looking “normal” in every regard,
though my lip feels burnt and charred!
Biting breeze, a clawed up mess,
Wonder if there’s hanging flesh?
I touch my face even though
Electric jolts will shoot I know.
Still I poke, test this pain.
Searching for limits again and again,
Twitching jaw I can’t stand.
I hold it still with my hand,
Praying the leads won’t further move…
When my nerve is in a groove.
Been on all the medication,
Thank my guide for meditation
Doctors are at wits end
Thank my God for my friend’s
The world doesn’t understand this much
Thank ALMIGHTY for healing touch.
I don’t think there IS a cure.
I believe but I’m not sure,
The answer is inside of me.
To accept myself what must be,
Learn to cope and how to react.
When the monster begins to attack,
And pass along, yes need to share.
To hear that another dose care…
To say you’re not alone,
Living in the face pain zone.
Invisible to most but not to “us”
We have been thought some incredible stuff
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All of the above poems are posted on the T.N.A. site for patients support in the art section

And last is One of my Tag poems I play tag poetry in the creative forum we have here.Love that forum
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M E D S -BMW-
Hi ho hi ho
To the doctors I go
Pamalor, Depakote, Baclofen
Tegregtol, Xanax, Doxepin
Zanaflex,, Diazepam, Neurotin
Methadon, Morphine,Pregabalin
Morphin drip this time
Meth. patch help? No sign!
Cannot forget the one not prescribed.
Few of the street drug tried ,
Some of the Cocaine,
Yes and Mary Jane.
Booze and caffeine,
Cigarettes filling up with nicotine.
A mask for the pain, to stop a fall,
All the drugs that built a wall.
When your body turns its back on you,
At some point your mind dose too.
I have a Neuro stimulator now,
Mixes the signals somehow.
Better then any drug or med I must say
Med and drug free, I’ve gotten away,
Five years now and still am today well cept for cigs
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