I don't think there is anything at all wrong with how you feel. It is one thing when our bodies decide to start attacking itself causing the MS. Then, on top of it, not accept treatment for it... I am sure there are a lot of feeling that go with it. Anger being the biggest one. I don't see "envy," as much as a longing to feel you were able to actively treat your disease the way others are able to do theirs.