I know exactly where you are coming from. That's what happened to me. I felt like I was in a whirlwind, going round and round and couldn't stop it. Later, I described it as being at the bottom of a dark well and couldn't get out.

Councelling as helped me a lot. I still have rough times due to the loss of my husband and at times I wonder if I will ever get better. I still go down a lot.

When a person is like this, I feel like they do need someone to talk to when they need to. The forum is great for help but to have a person listen to you in your life and know that it won't leave the room and you can tell your deepest, darkest secrets too and they will help give you the knowledge and support to get through them. Some things you can't talk about to your family.

I deal with the PTSD, Major Depression, anxiety and panic attacks, suicidal tendencies and it's a hard road but it's even harder to go it alone.

I hope you do start seeing a Councellor. I was exactly where you are and I would be dead today had it not been for a great one stepping up to the plate and becoming a friend.

Do a lot of praying also. It helps more then anything but I do believe God puts Angels here on earth in the form of people to help us find our way back and deal with things we can't deal with alone.

Ada