Hi Denise:

You are the exact age as my son. He threatened to commit suicide many many times. The difference is that my son was manipulating the system. You are not.

You obviously have a very serious case of depression going on, and so far the meds that have been diagnosed for you have not been doing what they have been prescribed to do.

I really feel for you. I really do. You don't mention your family. Do you have parents and what role have they played in your recovery. Are they supportive? Do you have contact with them.? Do you have friends?

And also, do you go to support groups. Sometimes, being alone is so painful, you might feel "what do I have to look forward to in life"?

I completely understand. Some people like to be isolated. Some thrive on constant socialization.

I don't know where you fit into this category.

We need a bit more information, (that is, if you don't mind sharing).

We do have excellent forums on this website, and more important, we don't judge, we just listen and when asked, we offer much info, some advice, and sometimes, a friendly ear if that's what you need.

It's important to be completely honest when you tell your story. Because when a person listens to what you have to say, the only info they have to go on is the truth.

So, if you'd like, feel free to private message me, or just go to the Depression forum, and see if you can be comfortable there.

The way you are feeling, well, it's not funny, it's not comforting, and it's most dis-heartening.

Please know that we here, DO care very much about your feelings.

I just wanted to offer that.

Take care,