Hi Wiix, I am sorry to read your post about what life has dealt you up to now. This may sound preachy but I am going to throw it out there anyway.

You say you have your religion and talk to God sometimes. Talk to Him more. And listen more, this was hard for me.

Try to find a good welcoming church (you may have to visit several till you find the one that fits) and open yourself up to making new friends. You will be surprised to find that there are others that are also looking for someone to laugh and just be happy with.

God has done some amazing things in my life in the last year and when I read your post I could relate so much but that was then and this is now. I hope you find some meaning and more importantly that human interaction that means so much. ...Sue