Well, giving up control wasn't the best verbiage I could have used. I'm taking a snip or two from another post here:

Vince has elements about his behavior that is just plain errogant, and he needs a wake up call (several dozen). He feels like a BIG fish in a little pond and all these big fish (the adults) are tip toeing around him, he needs to 'feel' what a little (but competent) guppy he is in a big pond with big fish...know what I mean? It's called the Master/Apprentice relationship, in RDI.

Vince does know what I want, does know what teachers want. He actively decides "I don't have to do what you want me to do, I'm going to do what I want". So, he is not in the category of child that really doesn't know what your expectations are.

And, when he is in trouble, he is an NT Choirboy...suddenly he knows every social rule he needs to follow, he's mr. goody two shoes. Dunno if he understands it intrinsically, but he sure has memorized the motions of 'good behavior'.

So, the verbiage I used wasn't quite how I meant it...which is why it's always important, like I tell dh, to "listen to what I mean and not what I say" (lol!)