Jeff,
I am certainly not offended..no apologies neccessary at all to me....to the contrary I think you are very wise to start exploring options beforehand..let others know you are seriously contemplating it..so you can make the most out of the resources you have...
Medicaid might not be the route go in your case..but often hospital social workers can go over options with you...look at your particular financial situation, particular insurance coverage and clauses, state asistance which varies largely based on the state you are in..
I know it is also very humbling to have to ask for help..but there may be people who will volunteer to do something for no charge..mow the lawn,shovel snow, run errrands once a week, learn to suction and just sit with you a few hours a day..people may feel comfortable doing some things and uncomfortable with other things .. but every little bit helps...if you can get a group of volunteers who wil specifically help with certain tasks...these kind of things may significantly defray the costs..
Every PALS situation is a little different..state assistance varies, as Medicaid is controlled individually state by state....but exploring early is a very smart move...getting cares in place..before you take the leap if you decide to vent..I think will be very wise...
As to "spawn" ..well I tend to rant too much as it is...I am sorry Jeff,,I can't imagine what your going through...but hang in there...your life is worthwhile..Lisa