My heart just goes out to you sheena. I wish I had a magic answer for you right now, but alas I don't. Cherie often comes up with some brilliant ideas so I'm praying she will be able to offer some good advice that you can use to better your life and situation. I have only a few things of value to give...prayers for peace, prayers for steroids and my biggest hug with a squeeze all the way from the far north. Be kind to yourself