Oh guardianangel (((hugs for you))) What a difficult time you're having -- what a difficult your husband is having. Epilepsy sucks!!

And all of what you're saying does sound familiar to me.
Your husband needs - needs
badly - to get to a neurologist
who specializes in epilepsy. The jail's nurse was a real God's send for taking the Dilantin blood level but he needs a neuro to check a lot of things and maybe prescribe a new medication.
You know I'm not a neuro or an expert but I sure
think that a lot of the weird things your husband has been doing have been part are the result of seizures and maybe a good medication could end those.... maybe it could even save lives.
I sure hope you live near a university hospital can can get an appointment there -- the best neuros in the world are at those places. Good luck -- we'll be thinking about you and waiting to hear from you again, Keep talking.